Wandering across Tierra Santa (Holy Land), a Bible-based theme park in the outskirts of Nowheresville, Buenos Aires, I learned a lot about Jesus Cristo. Nothing puts me in the mood for shish-kebabs more than life-size statues of Our Lord + Savior on the verge of being stabbed by the spear of a pissed-off looking Roman dude with a funny-lookin’ helmet. As out stomachs were struck with sudden pangs of hunger and were rumbling audibly, my companion and I looked desperately around for sustenance. Arca de Noe appeared in front of us like some sort of concrete, freshly painted, boat-shaped mirage. After hastily tying the camels to the post, we went in and had a delicious Middle Eastern meal.

Falafel: My friend had this and it looked pretty good. The yoghurt it was drizzled with looked fresh and tasty, and the falafel looked soft yet firm and golden brown. Hearty slices of tomato and onion were mixed in for flavor and texture.

Shawarma Sandwich: Tasty, juicy, very flavorful bits of roasted beef stuffed into soft pita bread with tiny bits of onion and lettuce running through it. Delicious, tangy yoghurt with bits of minced garlic drizzled over the top. Hearty, filling, delectable.

Phyllo pastry with fig and walnut: This was a delicious little 2-bite dessert. Crunchy, airy phyllo dough wrapped into a tight little bowl, stuffed with fig jam and topped off with a roasted walnut.

Burma: The birds-nest dough was a bit too dry and wasn’t as soaked in sticky honey as I expected and wanted it to be. The pistachios and the clove spice made it pretty tasty, however.